"The Niece" By Chris Ridell

Knock Knock, 2027 & Thinking About Babies, Endangered Species.

In November of 2019, I read and sang these poems at an Amnesty International building located in East London. The event was curated by Apples and Snakes poetry organisation and entitled ‘Words That Burn’.

It  was, and still is difficult for me to think about words burning… Are they themselves in flames? Or are they searing skin? Scorching the psyche?

It was at a time when I was looking for some quietude of the mind. It had been a hectic Autumn season. I was immersing myself further into my spiritual practice which called for stillness, contemplation and entails gentle creative reflection.

What was also culminating were paradigm shifting thoughts and feelings about my process of writing around the environment and ecology, themes steering me into graver questioning around human existence and my own sense of purpose as a poet. This idea of ‘words that burn’ led me to think about and feel about how words can cauterize wounds – the wounds of fatigue, of uncertainty.

The main entrance and the main space do not reflect each other, so when the room opened out into a 200 hundred people capacity space at capacity(!), I felt a bit overwhelmed by the buzz of the energy, which crossfaded into reserved hum of the green room. It had appropriate wines, fruits and cheeses, dips, tortilla chips and sandwiches.

After placing my bag under an overloaded coathorse, my eye followed a tray of canopèes and I helped myself to a few tiny quiches and a roasted red onion tartlette. Against my better sense for my gluten and lactose intolerance. I needed comfort food. I felt fragile.

I made my way into the main space that was busy. Loud. Found a seat next to a gentleman who was sketching the invited guest speakers and poets. I was lightened by his drawings, full of vibrancy and charisma.

---

When it came to my performance, I don’t remember much. I do remember saying “I want to do things a little bit differently. I’m going to sing."

I chose to center myself with "Endangered Species" with remixed lyrics, made relevant to my time founding the youth engagement and arts education project ‘Voice That Shake’.

At the end of my performance, I felt like it had been purpose-filled moment...

For me, I had done what I had set out to achieve, which was to get through it as authentically as possible. I sang, I read poems about delicacy in a time of rocky and rugged edges and coldness. There was an election taking place at the time in the UK and they tend to stir the flotsam.

Click Image to read full poem

“You exhale a comfortable mist of breath, I watch your DNA collect kaleidoscopic in condensation on the bedroom windows…”

“And every once in a while,

we lift our faces from the trough of consumerism

see clouds like bears and buffalo clash, gnashing teeth

we see them bite down on each other…

“Don't worry, Lovelie," you say, and tell me about

your plan to build rafts from our bamboo futon bed base

and sculpt oars from the shed door…”

"The Niece." By Chris Ridell

Knock Knock Who’s there? Interrupting cow Interrupting Cow - Mooo!

My niece told me this joke, Then she held her sides and wept for 8 straight minutes She laughed and filled the room with the joy of her life.

Returning to my seat, a little shaky on my legs but looking forward to a peppermint tea and another round of goat’s cheese and spinach canopèes, I was surprised and so happy to see how the gentleman to my left, the wonderful illustrator and sketch artist of children’s books, Chris Ridell, had got me. My poetry and the state of my many emotional presences, which to me felt ephemeral and fleeting, were captured.

You can see more of Chris Ridell's work HERE.

~ Zena ~